So, baing the masochist that I am, I decided to do NaNoWriMo this year. I figured I would have died or quit by now, but I`m still on schedule, up to 12k words (over 40 pages), and still having fun. But tomorrow begins week 2, and supposedly, that`s when the disillusionment begins.
Weeks 3 and 4 are going to be hard, with all the papers I`m going to have to write, but at least I`ll be able to put most of my free time into the hardest week.
I don`t really have much to report, seeing as NaNo is eating my liiiiiiiiife.

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He changed his passwords, added Flowerbitch to his facebook friends, and informed me that he`ll stop talking to her... eventually.
My end of this compromise is that I give him his privacy and stop checking his shit. His end is that, to save my sanity, he`ll stop talking to all the women he cheated on me with... someday.
Ugh.

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So my sister got busted with her little boyfriend again. Except this time, he`s almost 18. Almost, as in he turns 18 tomorrow. She`s only been allowed to be home by herself for two weeks, and she was dumb enough to pull this crap again. I don`t get it. She was supposed to be better than the crap I did at her age. At least I was smart enough to be on the up-and-up with my mom about it.
So my mom is seriously considering sending her back to Florida to live with our dad, so she can "lie and cheat and whore around on his time." I can`t say I blame her.
It makes me feel guilty to see what my mom`s going through, to know that I put her through something similar. But she even said that it was easier with me, because even when she wasn`t happy about it, she always knew where I was and who I was with and what I was doing.
I wish I could give my mom an answer, other than "she`s 14, and she`s gonna find a way to do what she`s gonna do, if she wants it badly enough." I`m not sure there is a right answer to the situation.
All I know for sure is that the minute they come up with a birth control pill for men, I`m putting Auron on it.

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So I haven`t updated in forever. I really don`t have a whole lot going on right now, I guess.
We had 3 family reunions to go to in Iowa last month. That was loads of fun. Iowa is my happy place.
As soon as we got back, Gage had to go in for hernia surgery. Everything went well, no complications, and his pain is less now than it was before his surgery.
Of course, that means he`s out of work. He goes back next week, but right now, we`re broke. Like, $0.61 in the bank broke. Hopefully my check from school will be coming in the next couple days. Food would be nice.
Auron is being typical-terrible-two. Seriously. Sometimes I wish I had enough gas to drop him off at a hospital in Nebraska. Then he does something cute, and I can resist the urge to throw him out the window again.
Oh, and this Tila Tequila shit makes me sick. No woman deserves to experience that, and I hope she gets the justice she deserves.
That`s all.

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Hi everybody.
I moved back in with him.

Dear Mr. Limbaugh,
Please die.
Kthxbai.

Lots of pictures of Auron (and a super cute video from... Christmas, I think?) ( behind the cut. )

Dear Christa,
Totally random, but looking at my old entries, we've been friends for like... 2 years now! Crazy stuff.
Always,
Renee

http://www.newsrecord.org/sections/news/archbishop_upset_with_sexploration-1.1355050

For those who are link-wary, this is a story from UC's newspaper. It seems the archbishop is "troubled to the extreme" that our school has been holding a sexual health week.

I felt the need to write to him, addressing his concerns as thoughtfully as I could. My response is as follows.

Dear Archbishop Pilarczyk,
As a student at the University of Cincinnati, I am flattered that you would take time out of your busy schedule to address the local public about your concerns regarding the sexual health week held at our school. I'm sure the issue must trouble you greatly if you felt the need to make a public statement on behalf of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, and for that, I am sorry. I also feel the need to make a statement, however, regarding the concerns you have expressed.
According to your public statement, the thing that concerns you most is that Ohio tax dollars are being spent on this event, which you seem to feel is both lacking in educational value, and immoral. First, I'm sure I don't need to remind you that there are much more pressing immoral behaviors going on in the Cincinnati area, issues that need addressing much more than the discussion of safe and healthy sexual behaviors, such as assault, robbery, and domestic violence. I'm also certain that my peers would agree that talking about our thoughts on sexuality is a thoroughly educational endeavor, enabling us to develop healthier attitudes about sex as well as teaching us safer ways to engage in sexual activity. Furthermore, I'm sure you would be much less concerned if we had a "Christian Values" week at the University, even if it meant Ohio taxpayers were footing the bill, despite the fact that (I hope) you would agree that a public university is not a place to be imposing one's religious values on others. I'm certain you would not want us to hold a "Pagan Values" festival, which is just as much a religious concept as that of the Catholic church.
I am proud that my school has held this type of sexual health week for several years now. I have personally seen the effects of a lack of sex education on the youth of our area. It is time that the community acknowledges that abstinence-only education does not work. On a college campus in particular, I can guarantee that every single student is either having sex or thinking about sex. As such, it is absolutely essential that we all develop healthier attitudes toward sexual behavior, and learn about safer ways to engage in intimacy with our partners. I hope you will understand when I assert that it is much more important to minimize the consequences of the sexual behavior of the youth in our community than to fight an impossible, never-ending battle against it. Young adults, and even teenagers, will continue to engage in sex, as they always have, and this cannot be stopped. What can be stopped is the disturbing rate of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections in our world, and the only way to stop that is through educating people about safe and healthy sex practices.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I sincerely appreciate your attention to my concerns.

Respectfully,
Renee Slaughter

An e-mail posted to facebook by a friend of mine reads as follows:

To All My Valued Employees.

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your jobs. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.

However, what you don't see is the back story.

I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could p ut forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I saved went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for th e latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the Goodwill store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 50's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... You never realize the back story and the sacrifices I've made.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people who overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.

Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes, Federal taxes, Property taxes, Sales and use taxes, Payroll taxes, Workers compensation taxes, Unemployment taxes, Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time.

On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, h ired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it.

Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

So where am I going with all this?

It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.

Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.

If you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....

Signed,
Your boss

I have many, many problems with this. For example, this is a repost coming from a republican friend of mine (yes, I have one - just one) who seems to forget the fact that this "economic stimulus package" was a result of the most ridiculously republican asshole of a president we've ever had. So, problem number one.

Then, there's the fact that it makes all people who don't have money seem like they're lazy welfare mothers squeezing out babies for a free government check. That frustrates the hell out of me. There was a time when Gage and I were trying to get out on our own, and we just couldn't, because we couldn't save enough money to put down a security deposit. But we made too much money to get any sort of government assistance. It makes me SO mad that the way this system is set up means that, in order to get the help they need, people have to STOP trying to make a living for themselves. You can make more money by taking in welfare than you can from a job, and in order to get that kind of assistance, you have to be practically unemployed.

Why is it this way? Because the upper crust, the people who are paying 50% of their taxes, are bitching and refusing to pay anything more. They can't live on their $300,000 net income in order to help those of us who only have a $20,000 gross income, working more than 40 hours a week. They refuse to help those of us who have no other options, who are sacrificing the right to a comfortable life in order to go to school for a chance at a BETTER life. So what if I need help? I have one baby, one baby that I can afford, and a husband who works his ass off so that I can go to school and provide us with a life in the future that's better than what we have now. But what happens when we can't make ends meet one month? We bounce checks, and go hundreds of dollars in debt to our bank due to overdraft fees, all so we can eat and pay for gas to go to school and work. Does the government help us out, even though we're doing the best we can? No, because we make too much money. Republicans think we're punishing them for making too much money - they're punishing people who can't afford to live because they're making "too much money," all while rewarding those big businesses who don't know how to keep their doors open because they're spending their money frivolously on resort spa vacations for their committees. Retarded.

Don't hate the man who's trying to fix the system. He raises your taxes, and suddenly, people can work for themselves and STILL get a little help when they need it, if something comes up. What happens next? People get an opportunity to better themselves through this system, and eventually, welfare isn't even necessary anymore, and your taxes go back down. Holy crap, what a concept.

There's two sides to every story, and while that was a very well-written bit of dogma, you can't put lipstick on a pig and call it a princess. It's still dogma, and it's that kind of one-way thinking that got this country into the mess that it's in.

He's a black and white beagle/border collie mix with little tan "legwarmers".
His name is Toby, and he's perfect.

We've been at this for a long time now, and I really feel the need to let you know... Our romance is over. I'm in love with your cat, and I'm selling myself for candy. Do you remember that time when we were at that party, and I quoted Forest Gump? Things got out of hand that night, and after I spent the night in the mental hospital, I began to think about our problems.
The next time you decide to sit on my corned beef hash, I will not hesitate to inform you that you are far too high to be in my house, and remind you of how awful you are.
I hope you don't mind that I'm not returning your Hannah Montana underwear. Your mom said that she always wanted to break your legs, and I think seeing those would only encourage her.
Anyway, thanks for the cocaine, and best of luck on the sex change.
Renee

( Curious? )

Leave me a comment and I will reply with why I like you. If I don't know you, I'll either make something up or tell you why I like your LiveJournal. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LiveJournal.

Gage is alive - he just got home, but he shows no remorse for the problems he's caused.
I'm not going home until he gives me a good reason to.

Pictures of Auron et al ( behind the cut )

It breaks my heart to see the state of the world today. I try to maintain optimism and hope for the best from the future, but everywhere I look, it looks like doomsday. Our environment is falling apart, dangerous nations are rising up and gaining power all over the world, and I can't help but feeling like ours may be the most dangerous country of all. Not in the sense that it is dangerous to other countries, but rather that it's dangerous to its own citizens. Creativity is being crushed, both in public and in schools. I try to have hope for my generation, but when I'm at school, all I see is people trying to make money. Nobody seems to want to make a change or even care about what happens to the world in the future.
Even my own party, the democrats, is disappointing me. I strongly dislike Obama, but I would take anyone over 4 more years of Bush (McCain). I just hope he proves me wrong, and makes the changes that the world needs right now. For the next 8 years, he may be our only hope.
And what breaks my heart the most, I think, is what it means for Auron's generation. I can't help but grow anxious over what terrible problems he may have to face in the future, and I have to wonder what right we had to bring a child into the world, knowing where the world is headed. It kills me that he has to deal with the repercussions of the decisions that have been made by world leaders, present and past, none of which he has had any control over.
It makes me want to scream, and do something about it, but I feel so helpless. I suppose we all just have to wait until the next generation makes it into office to make some changes.

Haircut Pictures!

It may look like I'm naked... but I'm really in a towel. So there. You now have the Canadian Lesbian Theory. :-)